I am the king of the jungle! yelled a centipede
by skissors
Summary: Playing catch with watermelons is not always advisable. We always knew Miranda was the smart one...


Disclaimer: We were not high when we wrote this story, so please don't sue us.  
  
Author's sister's note: Miranda was so much better in Buffy. Oh, and I had no part in writing this story. Thank pogo sticks.  
  
"I Am The King Of The Jungle!" Yelled A Centipede by skissors2  
  
One sunny day in the middle of the night, Lizzie Mcguire was looking out her door.  
'Why am I looking out my door?' she thought. She waited a while, but nobody answered. Lizzie wondered why out loud. "Why out loud?" she said, just as Gordo and Miranda rode their bicycles up the stairs, and appeared at Lizzie's window.  
"I don't know why out loud?!" Gordo said, with a German accent.  
"Huh?" asked Miranda.  
"Let's go downstairs, and watch television" suggested Lizzie.  
The 3 friends climbed out Lizzie's window, and slid down the drain pipe to the garden, which was full of mystical fairytale creatures.  
"Croak, I didn't croak know you croak had croak a drainpipe outside croak your window croak, Lizzie", croaked a nearby frog.  
"You know, frogs can't talk, so technically we didn't really hear that frog talk" said Gordo.  
"Interesting..." Miranda said thoughtfully. "Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches DON'T have celery in! Wait til I tell mum!"  
"This will never do! The faeries must believe that I am the king of the jungle!" yelled a centipede, and at once Lizzie, Gordo, and Miranda shrunk down to the size of the frog.  
"Quite interesting. Lizzie, I think we've grown!"  
"Well actually Gordo, everything around seems bigger. I think we shrunk"  
"No! Hey, let's ask Miranda"  
The two turn to Miranda, who is reading the messages on Lizzie's dad's mobile phone.  
"Very interesting novel this is, full of suspense and drama. I'd highly recommend it to anyone who's ever wanted to see a flying pig eat celery", Miranda said, sounding very interested. 'Hm, where can I get one of those?' was written on the stem of a flower.  
"That person has wings! What a freak" said Gordo, pointing to a toad.  
A nearby fairy thought Gordo was talking about her, and felt extremely happy suddenly. With a wave of her magical, shiny.  
"Shiny" said Lizzie "Shiny" said Gordo"  
"SHINY!" exclaimed both Lizzie and Gordo, simultaneously one after the other.  
"Cheddar cheese? I prefer ham" Miranda said, smiling secretly to herself. She seemed to know what she was doing, so the trees decided not to eat the bird, who was flying above them, dropping purple-and-pink polka-dotted feathers around everywhere.  
In fact, it was dropping so many purple-and-pink polka-dotted feathers, that it was raining green gummy bears!  
"What about me?" asked the fairy.  
With a wave of her magical, SHINY SHINY o.0 SHINY!!! wand, Gordo started turning into a cow.  
"Moo" croaked the toad, which then exploded, so the giraffes of the world wouldn't have to put up with their turquoise and maroon pogo sticks breaking all the time.  
Gordo now had 4 legs, and was having fun counting them, and thinking of numbers that, added together, make 67. "Well, there's 60, and there's 7, and 1 and 66..."  
"MY HAT! MY HAT! WHERE IS MY PET HIPPO?" screamed Miranda, as if she'd broken a nail.  
"You know Gordo, Well, I don't think you WOULD know, since you're like a rabbit or something and they totally don't get problems like this, but the worst thing to happen to a girl EVER is having a nail break"  
"I so totally agree with you Lizzie, flying pigs don't eat celery! Why am I learning to play the drums and ride a unicycle at the same time anyway?" said Miranda.  
"Moo" said Gordo. "I think we should go home now, it's getting light out!"  
They decided that was a good idea, so jumped on an ant's back and roller-skated down the red brick road.  
"Why are the bricks red?" Lizzie asked Miranda.  
"Who's Miranda?" asked an ugly stick insect, flying alongside a hairy elephant baby wearing a wedding dress and carrying a basket full of flowers.  
Miranda seemed to have disappeared.  
"Oh wooooo" Said the miniature legendary silver unicorn driving in a minivan. That cow is soooo cute"  
"Nice car" said Lizzie.  
The silver unicorn insisted that Lizzie marry the car, but Lizzie didn't want to.  
"I want to spend the rest of my days swimming in tomato sauce and playing pool with coconuts" said Lizzie. "Marriage will get in the way, I don't want to spend time with my husband!"  
"I will crush your bones to dust!" said that fairy, the same one who turned into a car.  
'May the curtains be with you Lizzie' a voice in Lizzie's head said, over and over and over again.  
Lizzie was about to jump into the great wide ocean of strawberry scented breadcrumbs when her bones were crushed to dust, and she collapsed on the floor.  
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" The fairy laughed, evilly. "That will mess you to teach with the land of Turkish delights!"  
"Moo"  
'That cow has got to go too' The tree would have said, if it could talk. But it couldn't. Out of the trees mouth came the words "That cow has got to go too"  
The fairy and the tree discussed whether or not they should eradicate Gordo from the face of the planet.  
"I have a shiny wand"  
"Hello, I'm Miranda. Would you like to buy a vacuum cleaner?" said Miranda, who had just disappeared but was strangely still there.  
The forest creatures in the garden didn't know what a vacuum cleaner was, so they looked at Miranda in amazement.  
Gordo shot up into the sky, blew up, and rained down onto the flower tops as pieces of sparkly confetti.  
"I'd love a vacuum cleaner" said the tree.  
"NO!!!!" Screamed the unicorn, who was watching from afar. "You must love ME!"  
"I used to put celery in peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. But really I should have been putting giraffe meat in them instead" Miranda said, wandering off thoughtfully.  
As she wandered off she got bigger, and bigger, and bigger, until she was normal sized, and left the jungle creatures to argue. She ran across the garden and slid up the chimney, into the house...  
  
The moral of this story is 'Purple cucumbers may be hard to digest' 


End file.
